Incredible Assumptions of Modern Management: Excerpt 1:

"I Dreamed You Were My Father"

FEMALE STUDENT #1: I dreamed you were my father, and yet I don’t want that.

RONE: Look, I just teach

FEMALE STUDENT #1: It’s not personal.

RONE: … I open the door, I come in…

FEMALE STUDENT #1: In the dream you had muscles. Grotesque… “ape” or “large ape”…. What do you call “apes?”

RONE: Simian. Or naked. Or covered with hair.

FEMALE STUDENT #1: But you had a coat on, in the dream. You’re not naked. I want to be clear. Because it’s easy to… pretend my father. It’s easy to… what am I saying? I guess it’s easy to pretend to be my father. Why is that true?

RONE: I don’t care what you’re going through. Okay? And it’s beside the point for me to interface with your deeply cherished wants and desires. Does anyone else think I should submit to this? I got my own kids, huh?

[Light laughter from the seminar.]

FEMALE STUDENT #1: Excuse me, I’m speaking! I don’t think it’s outrageous to want to be touched or held, and I hope no one’s going to hold that against me.

RONE: Well, I…

ANONYMOUS: [From the seminar…] She’s right!

RONE: Who said that? [Peers into the lights.] Well… if it’s of any interest, I do happen to know about human contact. From a deep personal experience. And why is it deep? Because I record my thoughts and dreams in a handmade diary made from papyrus leaves.

ANONYMOUS: I think he’s joking! He’s just jokes!

RONE: What are you people saying to me? (Pause.) Eh?

[Pause.]

[RONE to blackboard. Picks up chalk.]

[RONE writes: MAKING JOKES DEBASES ME IN SMALL WAYS.]

[Pause.]

RONE: I feel that I have to be honest with you. (Pause.) I don’t understand your needs.